A Few Thoughts On Pastor’s Wives

** This is a repost of some of the most popular posts from this year on my blog.  Enjoy!**

I think that the most difficult job to hold in the church is the role of the pastor’s wife.  I love my wife and think that she does an excellent job at a) being my wife and b) being the wife of a pastor (which would be ME ah thank you).  You may not have even known it was job, but let me for a just a few moments today outline to you why it is in fact a job and how it’s a difficult one.

By the way, this isn’t meant to be a knock on Ridge Church.  This is for ALL church members of any body.

• The pastor’s wife minister’s to the pastor 24/7 – You get to go home on Sunday and chill.  If the message wasn’t so hot, the video didn’t fire correctly or on time or it was just a blah kinda day at church, you can still sleep.  The pastor’s wife has to listen to her pastor moan and groan all day and offer some condolences and encouragement even when she knows it was bad too.  You get to watch the game.  She has to talk him off the ledge.
• The pastor’s wife hurts when the pastor hurts – There are some days that I just feel defeated, beat up, and drained from being in over my head in ministry.  When people in my church hurt, I hurt.   And when I hurt, my wife hurts even more because she is hurting for our church AND for me.
• There is no Pastor Wives Appreciation Monday – A lot of times, the pastor’s wife is like the song writer that writes a #1 hit for an artist.  Someone else sings it, records and performs it, and yet, no one ever knows that someone else wrote it.  The artist gets all the affirmation, yet the one who wrote it should a pat on the back too.  I think I speak for all pastors out there…if you want to appreciate your pastor, appreciate his wife MORE.
• There is so much more expected from the pastor’s wife – In some churches, the pastor’s wife is expected to lead the women’s ministry, be a friend to everyone, be at every event, serve in the kid’s ministry, show up to every service, and be available to everyone who has a need, amongst other things.  A pastor’s wife first is a believer, then a wife, then a mother, THEN a church member.  Being at your aunt Knoll’s sister’s best friends baby shower shouldn’t be high up on her list so stop getting your feelings hurt when she doesn’t show up.  It’s not that she doesn’t love you, it’s just that there a few more things higher up on her list of priorities.

I’m guessing that the pastor of your church isn’t asking you to put a chair that is way too big on stage so that his wife can sit there and be adored by the church.  I could be wrong, but in case you’re wondering, if you attend Ridge Church, DON’T DO THAT.

But I am probably right in that for a lot of pastors of churches all over the country, your pastor is just saying, “Honor her, respect her, and understand that her job is as hard if not more tough than my job on most days.”

The role of a pastor’s wife is a tough one.  We don’t need to make it any more tough than it already is.  Love your pastor’s wife and all the wives of all the pastor’s in your church.  Honor then.  Pray for them.

Romans 12:10 “Love one another with brotherly affection.  Outdo one another by showing honor”